An Open Letter to Anthony Weiner and His Penis

Dear Anthony Weiner,

I don’t quite get you my friend. You’re a smart politician, you’re well educated and clearly through your ups and downs, rather well respected.

But you have a problem with your dick.

Now, granted if this were Italy you could have prostitutes lined down the block and as far as Italy is concerned, who cares.

But unfortunately this is America. A country that still has people praying away the gay, demanding guns in churches, and still obsessed with controlling what goes into and out of women’s vaginas.

People could sort of care less where Americans put their dick. I mean look at Charlie Sheen, he’s literally a walking STD and people love him. Granted, he’s an actor, and a straight one. If Neil Patrick Harris or Ellen Degeneres were popping pills and hooking up with gay and lesbian porn stars I think America would give them the cold shoulder.

But you chose to be an American politician. A person who’s very nature of their job is to relate to their public who elected them. We listen to politician’s words like gentlemen’s agreements. A strong hand shake seals the deal… A weak one, well…

Not only does a politician have a reputation to uphold, he typically has a woman by his side. Now, your wife maybe into all sorts of kinky things that the both of you are open about and into – but this doesn’t seem to be the case. Part of the general public’s annoyance with you is now we have to deal with her… again. Also, is she an indicator of how you view woman as a whole?

If you’re a small town banker and you like to tweet your dick for days, who cares, right? Sure if the bank caught on they might want to save themselves from embarrassment and make up some provision that you can’t be trusted with things of a sensitive nature, but you might be able to work around that.

If you’re a trash collector or a pilot then maybe you could tweet your cock all day, even on the job, and who’d give a flying rat’s ass?

But you wanted to be an American politician.

You wanted to be a man of the people.

You want to somehow believe people look to you for the answers.

You want to believe that you can change government.

The truth is, you can’t handle your dick. You don’t even have trusted aids to line your dick up with easy-to-please girls. You could have been a strong supporter of legalizing pot and took Snoop Dog or Lion under your wing – and maybe he could call in some old favors for you – but no, you prefer the image of the righteous man as oppose to the real one that you are.

You don’t even understand how twitter works when new borns practically are tweeting before 1st grade.

Now, I’m not a sexphobic… I think politician’s sex lives are to be their own as long as those sex lives don’t dictate governing and use their power to force women into despicable conditions.

But that’s the problem with too many men at the table – women are relegated to minimal roles due to their gender. Hell, there was a recent Supreme Court decision that said a man could fire his female dental assistant because she was too sexy!

Anthony Weiner, you have a problem with your dick, and it’s sad. Because I know it must turn you on that women want your dick – power can be an aphrodisiac I’m told… But now your dick is becoming a total joke. A nuisance. A distraction. Your name is practically a dick joke.

I took this candid photo of you at Brooklyn’s 2013 Gay Pride. Look at you. You look alive, hopeful, filled with zest, back on track, the past erased… The phoenix from the ashes – at a gay parade nonetheless. Sure, I suppose gay people are suppose to understand the man who has been persecuted for his sexuality. Lesbians identify with it. Gay men. Even heterosexual women. And I’ll agree that there sometimes seems to be a backlash against white men in this country as though they are the sole bearers of all that is wrong in the world.

But it still comes down to this… You’re stupid. You’re replaceable. You didn’t invent something people desperately needed much less the Internet.

And even if you support women’s rights and lgbt rights, we still prefer our champions to kind of have their shit together. Are we suppose to elect you and watch your wife act pulled together while you’re instagraming your cock to a Peruvian housewife who uses Tara Reid’s photo for her profile? Are we suppose to buy the fact that certain legislative measures weren’t passed because you were having phone sex with a rookie football player you thought was a girl?

You’ve rendered yourself… rather awkward.

Hester Pryne was shunned by her community for being a adulterer. And we feel for Hester. But Hester is a woman in an unbalanced world of power where men get away with murder and dictate women’s reproductive rights while men just, well, do whatever.

We still have elected officials who are caught, mind you, CAUGHT having homosexual affairs while demonizing gays and lesbians and actively voting against them. We still have a country that cannot see how race has factored into so many African-American males overpopulating the prison system.

You had your chance, but your white dick got in the way.

Please, step aside. Your trajectory as the golden white male of choice is over. Live a simpler life. Tend to your dick. There are plenty of girls on Craigslist waiting. Just leave the political idolatry to someone else. We don’t need another bullshitter – our government is full of them.


Your Peruvian Princess,

Ginger Fires


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