GOP Pundit Factory Produces Coulter 2.0 and 3.0

PLEASE… BEWARE OF THESE WOMEN… they are not to be trusted…

ANN COULTER

Their original Fem-bot Pundit goes by the name Ann Coulter.  Ann has been laying a bit low lately.  She was never one to turn away the over-sexed Bill Mahr, or the wanton ways of Larry King… but as of late, she hasn’t been as sought out as she once was… probably due to the fact she can’t stand McCain and declared she’d even vote for Hillary.   APPARENTLY she may flip if you watch this insanity… http://www.popmodal.com/video/140/Ann-Coulter-Loves-Sarah-America-on-Kudlow–Co.  THEN watch this… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuTqgqhxVMc

Don’t be fooled, she’s about as warm and fuzzy as a Chinese throwing star impaled in a major artery… she drops Hitler’s name as a pop culture  reference as someone compariable to Joe Democrat.  Here she is in her total glory (keep in mind Matt Lauer has a way of making guests go crazy… ie Tom Cruise). 

She is also famous for calling John Edwards a f*gg*t.  She could call herself the original Pitt Bull, for her tenaciousness and vigorous energy to verbally attack anything that smells “liberal”… funny thing, I don’t think most conservatives in small town America would approve of her slinky wardrobe and brazen disregard to play nice… I think they would view her as “other than” conservative… but it’s semantics really.

COULTER 2.0…  NANCY PFOTENHAUER

Nancy is McCain’s top policy adviser.  Though she doesn’t give wicked tongue lashings like that of Coulter, she does embody the same frail, blond tenacity and transparency like that of her predecessor Coulter 1.0.  Whereas Coulter may cast the spell, Nancy uses the art of grating repetition to inoculate her victims.   Whereas Coulter may, just may have a sliver of self-deprecation and a form of wit found most engaging to herself… Nancy, unfortunately has nothing else except for…

COULTER 3.0… KELLYANNE CONWAY

Kellyanne is a Republican strategist, pollster and fellow bobblehead.  She is apparently a nationally regarded expert on trends and politics.  Where Nancy falters in repetition, Kellyanne muscles in with her bony shrills and relentless whines.  She is also blond, extremely thin, and initially exudes a timid cordialness which soon turns into deafening squeals of victimization.  She’s the daughter that cries to daddy that she wants her toy but is resigned to actually find it.  Often, on Larry King, she’ll begin each sentence with a high pitched “Larry” inciting IBS to the masses. 

Think “The Charmed Ones” (formerly the WB, now on the TNT).  Instead of living in Pacific Heights, they nest at some crystal meth den with working caldrons and sacrificial slabs for teenage girls tempting thoughts of abortion. Coulter would be the scene chomping Prue, Pfotenhauer a lame Phoebe, and Conway compliments Piper’s affectations with delayed eye flutters.  Alas, my apologies to Piper for I’m still looking for her doppelganger… possibly the robust Elisabeth Hasselbeck.  Also, I meant no disrespect to the actresses playing the above characters and their comparisons… although Doherty is pretty right on sans anorexia.

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